Saturday, September 1, 2012

I'm Back.....

I am so glad to be back! I try and get a new post in each Friday, but I am little late this week. My life has been busy, and the inspiration lacking but oh well- onward and upward, I say!

 I actually have another blogger to thank for my story inspiration today. I finally took a "me" day, and booked my Mother's Day Day-Off (5 months late) and enjoyed a day at the Spa. I used to do this every few months, but its been over a year since I have been! Rich girl problems, I know (I don't even know what that means, and I'm not rich, but go with it). When I say Spa, you probably think of things like massages and facials and all that jazz- not me. I'm cheap, so I pick the cheapest service (pedicure) and just sit in the quiet room and read for the rest of the day. The spa attendant kind of gives me the stink eye all day, like shes never seen a girl sit, alone, in the corner and read her e-book for 6 hours. But I don't care, because I'm just a bad ass like that.

So I was scouring google and the Nook library looking for a great Spa Day book, and I came across "Let's Pretend This Never Happened" by The Bloggess Jenny Lawson. I wanted this book for Christmas, didn't get it (must have been a bad girl this year), and totally forgot about it. I am so glad I came across it again because I was literally laughing out loud, by myself, in the corner of the quiet room. It is f'n hilarious! It also pretty deep- and got me thinking about an aspect of my life that I always thought was normal human behavior, but now I am not so sure.

I tend to "over analyze" things, or as I like to call it, think. Case in point- I love my sons daycare teachers, and when he was going to move up to the next classroom, I wanted to do something to show them how much they meant to me and him. I spent weeks thinking about the perfect thing to do. I don't have much excess disposable income to spend on the type of present that they deserved, so I decided to have T make them a painting. Easy enough. But I wanted a little something to go with it, and finally decided on some special cupcakes from a local bakery. I think a normal person would have just walked in, picked some out and handed them over to his teachers. Not me- I have to analyze each flavor, try and figure out what these ladies like even though I really had no idea, label the box and then try and get them home. I think I drove Holly crazy texting her that night, asking her over and over again if they were still going to taste good the next day, and how I should store them so they wouldn't taste stale. And then I remembered I had seen ants in our kitchen, so I almost had a panic attack worrying the ants would get them! Holly bakes as a hobby and told me how to store them so that they would taste just fine, but I kept badgering her because that's just what I do. At the same time, I was also hounding Big Poppa, asking him if they would like this present or just think I was stupid and make fun of me and talk about me behind my back and hate T. Because that's where my brain goes. Thankfully, he has learned how to answer my questions to both reassure me and shut me up in the quickest, most effective way. And of course, his teachers loved their presents and all my worrying was for nothing.
I know I'm making this sound really awesome, but it really isn't a fun way to live. It causes me alot of anxiety, sleepless nights, upset stomachs, acne and I bet I can blame these few extra lbs. on it too. I know it's a pretty silly thing to say, but I never really thought this was a medical problem. I just always thought it was me and there was nothing I could do about it. I have learned to live with it, and the hubs has learned how to adapt to my little idiosyncrasies, but reading about Jenny's experiences has made me rethink this whole thing. Maybe I could go talk to a doctor, and maybe I could get some help for this problem. It would make my life so much better, and I bet Big Poppa would appreciate it too.
Most importantly though, I need to get help so that I don't pass this on to my children. I don't want T to pick up on this and start reading too much into his buddy not sharing his truck or a little girl pushing him down. I would much rather him pick up on some of my awesomeness, like my love of reading or my stellar gift of gab.
So let me know- does this happen to you? Is this normal? And what kind of doctor would I even see about something like this?

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